“You Should Be Fine, You’re Smart”: The Myth Holding Gifted Kids Back

by Jon Scaccia March 3, 2025

One day, a high school student named Alex sat quietly in the back of a classroom, staring at an exam. Their mind raced, not because the test was too hard—but because of what would happen if they didn’t ace it. Alex had always been told they were smart, that school should be easy for them. But now, in a high-pressure school filled with other high-achievers, that label felt suffocating. What if they failed? Would everyone realize they weren’t actually gifted after all?

This scenario plays out in classrooms across the country. Gifted students experience stress, anxiety, and perfectionism at alarming rates—yet schools often overlook their mental health needs, assuming their intelligence will carry them through. The latest research, however, tells a different story.

The Science Behind Gifted Students’ Hidden Struggles

A recent qualitative study of gifted students in a high-achieving school revealed a troubling pattern: While these students excel academically, they often struggle emotionally. Researchers found that stress among gifted students comes from multiple sources:

• Lack of academic challenge: Many students reported feeling unmotivated and disengaged when their classes didn’t provide enough intellectual stimulation.
• Unrealistic expectations: Gifted students often internalize the belief that they should always succeed, leading to anxiety and fear of failure.
• Social isolation: Peers and even teachers sometimes label gifted students as “weird” or “know-it-alls,” making it difficult for them to form meaningful friendships.
• Intersectional stressors: Many gifted students also identify as LGBTQ+, have learning disabilities, or come from underrepresented backgrounds, compounding their struggles.

These pressures can have serious consequences. Research shows that gifted students in high-achieving schools are at increased risk for anxiety, depression, and burnout. In fact, recent studies suggest that students in these environments experience mental health challenges at rates similar to those living in poverty.

Why Schools Play a Critical Role in Mental Health Support

Schools are more than places of learning—they shape how students see themselves and their potential. Unfortunately, many schools unknowingly contribute to the problem by prioritizing academic excellence over emotional well-being. But what if we could change that?

1. Rethink the “Gifted” Label

Research shows that labeling a child as “gifted” can sometimes do more harm than good, especially when it leads to a fixed mindset. Instead of focusing on innate intelligence, educators should emphasize growth, resilience, and problem-solving skills.

✅ What Schools Can Do: Shift from “You’re so smart!” to “I love how you worked through that challenge!” This small change helps students see intelligence as something they can develop, not just something they have to protect.

2. Train Teachers to Support Gifted Students’ Emotional Needs

Many teachers receive little to no training in supporting the emotional well-being of gifted students. Yet, studies find that when teachers are enthusiastic, understanding, and available, they significantly reduce student stress.

✅ What Schools Can Do: Provide professional development on how to create a supportive environment for gifted students, especially those with additional identities (LGBTQ+, neurodivergent, twice-exceptional).

3. Encourage Healthy Coping Strategies

The study found that many gifted students use problem-focused coping for academics (e.g., switching schools, self-advocacy) but struggle with emotion-focused coping in social settings. Some students reported isolating themselves rather than addressing stress directly.

✅ What Schools Can Do: Teach coping skills explicitly. Schools can incorporate stress management, emotional regulation, and social problem-solving into the curriculum through peer mentorship programs, counseling, or even structured advisory periods.

4. Foster a Culture of Collaboration, Not Competition

Students in schools that rank their classmates often experience heightened stress. One student in the study shared how their previous school’s class ranking system made every academic choice feel like a high-stakes competition.

✅ What Schools Can Do: Consider eliminating class rankings or structuring grading systems that emphasize mastery and collaboration rather than competition.

What Parents and Educators Can Do Today

Gifted students need advocates who recognize both their strengths and vulnerabilities. If you’re a parent, teacher, or school psychologist, here are three immediate steps you can take:

🔹 Normalize struggle. Let gifted students know it’s okay to fail and that mistakes are part of learning. 🔹 Check in regularly. Gifted students often mask their struggles, so ask open-ended questions like, “What’s been most challenging for you this week?” 🔹 Encourage balance. Ensure students have time for extracurriculars, hobbies, and social activities beyond academics.

Let’s Talk About It

The mental health of gifted students is often an invisible issue. But it doesn’t have to be.

💬 What’s the biggest mental health challenge you see in schools today? 💬 How can schools better support students’ emotional well-being? 💬 What’s one school psychology insight that changed the way you parent or teach?

Join the conversation in the comments or share this post with someone who needs to see it. Together, we can create schools where gifted students don’t just survive—they thrive.

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